[Help] Back to School Tips

Hi guys!

Even though I’m done with schooling, I know very well that a good majority of my friends are not, but rather are just returning to their journey! So, I figured a small list of tips might help!

1. Use a planner or a bullet journal- whatever will help you keep track of deadlines/homework!

  • If you struggle with planners, simply make one that will work for you! I avoid planners altogether and use a bullet journal!
  • Just don’t go in assuming you’ll remember everything. You won’t.

2. Know your classes!

  • You need to know when, where, and what your classes are. Don’t walk in late- show initiative and show early!
  • Keep your schedule handy for the first week or until you’re comfortable without it.

3. Be prepared!

  • Do not be that person who needs to ask for a pencil because they forgot their pencil case at home: pack your backpack the night before!
  • Try not to overload on supplies to take to school- you’ll need some for home.

4. Have a planned system!

  • You need to decide how you will keep organized!
  • I hated lockers. I refused to touch mine, so I decided quickly I would keep everything in my backpack. It was heavy, but it worked in my favor.

5. Cut out negativity from the get-go!

  • If there’s a dark cloud in your life, sever ties. You need to maintain a content mental state!

6. Go through course material beforehand!

  • Do some summer studying if you still have time! Refreshing your mind on what you have already learned will aid your learning process!

7. Start your routine 1-2 weeks early!

  • Do not go to bed at 3am on the first day. In fact, start getting yourself to bed at a reasonable hour so you’ll be ready for the early mornings ahead.
  • Avoid coffee at all costs. It might help temporarily, but the crash is troublesome. I did the same thing with candy and sugary cereals.

8. Read the class syllabuses!

  • Note that learning the expectations your teachers have is immensely important in organization.
  • Do not argue with teachers on their rules… just don’t.

9. Do not be in a hurry to grow up!

  • High school is a journey. I wish I had taken more time to realize and appreciate that!

Courage

Hi guys! Today’s post will be focused on a story I wish to share with all of you. As many of my readers know, I deal with multiple disabilities, as well as general social anxiety.

So, every other day at least, I go on a walk for about half a mile to visit a playground of the elementary school I attended. Not only does walking with my music clear my mind, but I find swinging on playground swings extremely relaxing. Considering how stressed I discover I can be at times, taking time out of my day to give myself fresh air is actually quite helpful.

When I swing for a bit, I catch a view of two teenage boys playing basketball, and immediately, I knew I wanted to participate. They had clearly just arrived as well, probably a few minutes before I did. So, while swinging, I tried to figure out the best way to approach them. Granted, I have huge social anxiety, and so even talking to strangers leaves me extremely nervous- regardless of age or anything.

After about twenty to thirty minutes, I finally gathered up the courage to speak to them. I asked them if I could play- after all, worst case scenario, they’d say no, right? In a surprising turn, the boys eagerly accepted my request, and I spent the next half hour in an intense game of basketball.

The thing is, social anxiety can control you, yes. However, if you summon enough strength in yourself to push past it, there’s no doubt you’ll regret it. Consider the worst possible thing that can happen: maybe you get told off or something. However, I would rather regret the things I do than the things I don’t do.

And that is how I found courage despite my anxiety.

[F] My Problem With 13 Reasons Why

Hi guys! So, lately, my Facebook feed has been buzzing with the release of the new Netflix series “13 Reasons Why”, and while I realize that many of my friends like the show, I would like to explain why I do not. I originally was advised by my counselor not to watch the show, and I have not seen more than twenty minutes worth of clips (my Mum and sister watched it). However, what I have seen warrants this post.

This blog post will have mentions of suicide/depression/self-harm!! Do not read this post if you cannot handle those topics!

So, as we all know, 13 Reasons Why is about a girl who commits suicide, and has a few cassette tapes- each side discussing her story and the people who wronged her, which led her to commit suicide.

I don’t know how to begin to describe the sheer amount of wrong I find with this.

First of all, I’ve lost a couple of people to suicide, one of them being my uncle. So I understand that suicide affects literally everybody- furthermore, I’ve tried to overdose once, because things had gotten extremely tough and I felt utterly hopeless.

Hannah Baker, the deceased, felt hopeless, yes. But the fact that she made these tapes? She deliberately wanted to ruin everybody elses’ lives following the demise of hers. She wanted revenge, essentially, because of the people who made her feel terrible. And that’s not okay material to have people be watching, especially in a world filled with so much hate and pain already. If the show had slipped in some sort of anti-bullying message (which, seems to be the basis of Hannah’s many reasons to want to commit), I would have given props to them.

The thing is, when you make an active decision, you need to take accountability for it. Hannah knew exactly what she was doing, and she had the ability at any point to stop making the audio recordings (as the suicide appeared to have been immensely planned out). She did not. Hannah Baker made the active choice to take her own life, and while the circumstances were extremely rough, she ended up taking her life.

I’m not trying to demean the people who have taken their life in any way- the fact Hannah placed intense blame on the people who hurt her is the issue I honestly have. Nobody should be forced to carry that burden in knowing they hurt somebody so bad, and they’re probably never going to overcome that struggle, especially in the manner Hannah emphasized her pain. Because blaming other people for a decision you made is not the way to go about your problems in this world.

Why Do I Isolate Myself?

Hi guys! So, for those of you who don’t know, I’m still accepted submissions for questions to answer. Also, because lately, I notice I’ve been rather isolating myself, I wanted to get into the topic of why I do that..

So, I’m quite frankly somebody who does not take bad news well- who does? But when it comes to coping with such situations, I tend to isolate myself from other people. I draw in all of my pain towards myself- which can be seen as extremely self-destructive (and it is), and not many people really ever understand why.

The reason why I isolate myself is not because I don’t want the support. Because honestly, I do need the support more than anything and it’s the number one thing that I seriously want in desperate times. But there’s multiple factors that are involved.

One of them is that I have been hurt many times by people I thought I trusted. Every time I have tried to allow the majority of people into my life, I believe I’ve been turned away the times I did need somebody, whether they were busy or didn’t care or whatnot. So, I feel as if my problems will be better solved if I keep them to myself.

Another reason I isolate is because I don’t like to bother people with things that are upsetting me. It partially is because I believe that if somebody wants to fix something, they shouldn’t complain about it, and I do my absolute best to hold true to that very ideal. Plus, I just feel worse whenever I talk about my situations, because either the person pities me or tries to solve it and that’s the last thing I want.

The third reason is that chances are, the problem has been solved and I just needed to stew about the remains of it. It’s honestly a strange concept, but after I finish dealing with a situation, I find myself needing to share it as if it was still going on. Somehow, I think it makes it feel more valid and perhaps might make me feel stronger about solving it.

I’m not trying to push away or hurt other people. I isolate in desperate times because I don’t want to bother anybody. And so, I usually don’t.

Flawed Actions

Hi guys! So, as I stated in the previous blog post, I’m going to be writing out a bunch of the things that I am asked in a blog post- for example, why I struggle with social concepts. However, before I start going into the list, I wanted to remove all forms of doubt about my purpose here.

I’m not telling you guys that my disabilities serve as an excuse. Like, if I did something absolutely terrible and I ended up in big trouble for it, the last thing I’d want to do is say “well, my disability made me do this”. Because quite honestly, I’m still accountable for my actions- as I should be. It always irks me immensely whenever I watch a crime show and individuals who are guilty of murder emphasize on the fact that they have a mental disorder, so they’re off the hook. Honestly, that to me should be a huge no-no in our society, as it seems to be a continuing trend.

The reason I’m writing the upcoming blog posts is primarily to explain to the world (or at least, my followers) why I do or say or act on certain things. I look forward to this journey. ❤

Introduction of the Blue Jay!

Hi guys!

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Ayla! I am an 18 year old woman living and loving life in Alaska, USA, but I deal with a multitude of different disabilities on a day-to-day basis. I was diagnosed with high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and mild Bipolar Disorder in July 2016, while I’ve dealt with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and general Anxiety throughout my entire life.

In time, I’ve come to accept my disabilities, but I also act differently to situations than other people might. I tend to grow attached to people and ideas far more than what can be considered normal, and I have a lot of different ideas and thought processes. My general concepts can usually be emphasized through writing, which is why I’ve started this blog.

I want people who don’t have my mindset to understand where I’m coming from on a variety of topics. So, here’s to a lovely future! 😀