Courage

Hi guys! Today’s post will be focused on a story I wish to share with all of you. As many of my readers know, I deal with multiple disabilities, as well as general social anxiety.

So, every other day at least, I go on a walk for about half a mile to visit a playground of the elementary school I attended. Not only does walking with my music clear my mind, but I find swinging on playground swings extremely relaxing. Considering how stressed I discover I can be at times, taking time out of my day to give myself fresh air is actually quite helpful.

When I swing for a bit, I catch a view of two teenage boys playing basketball, and immediately, I knew I wanted to participate. They had clearly just arrived as well, probably a few minutes before I did. So, while swinging, I tried to figure out the best way to approach them. Granted, I have huge social anxiety, and so even talking to strangers leaves me extremely nervous- regardless of age or anything.

After about twenty to thirty minutes, I finally gathered up the courage to speak to them. I asked them if I could play- after all, worst case scenario, they’d say no, right? In a surprising turn, the boys eagerly accepted my request, and I spent the next half hour in an intense game of basketball.

The thing is, social anxiety can control you, yes. However, if you summon enough strength in yourself to push past it, there’s no doubt you’ll regret it. Consider the worst possible thing that can happen: maybe you get told off or something. However, I would rather regret the things I do than the things I don’t do.

And that is how I found courage despite my anxiety.

Flawed Actions

Hi guys! So, as I stated in the previous blog post, I’m going to be writing out a bunch of the things that I am asked in a blog post- for example, why I struggle with social concepts. However, before I start going into the list, I wanted to remove all forms of doubt about my purpose here.

I’m not telling you guys that my disabilities serve as an excuse. Like, if I did something absolutely terrible and I ended up in big trouble for it, the last thing I’d want to do is say “well, my disability made me do this”. Because quite honestly, I’m still accountable for my actions- as I should be. It always irks me immensely whenever I watch a crime show and individuals who are guilty of murder emphasize on the fact that they have a mental disorder, so they’re off the hook. Honestly, that to me should be a huge no-no in our society, as it seems to be a continuing trend.

The reason I’m writing the upcoming blog posts is primarily to explain to the world (or at least, my followers) why I do or say or act on certain things. I look forward to this journey. ❤

Introduction of the Blue Jay!

Hi guys!

For those of you who do not know me, my name is Ayla! I am an 18 year old woman living and loving life in Alaska, USA, but I deal with a multitude of different disabilities on a day-to-day basis. I was diagnosed with high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and mild Bipolar Disorder in July 2016, while I’ve dealt with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and general Anxiety throughout my entire life.

In time, I’ve come to accept my disabilities, but I also act differently to situations than other people might. I tend to grow attached to people and ideas far more than what can be considered normal, and I have a lot of different ideas and thought processes. My general concepts can usually be emphasized through writing, which is why I’ve started this blog.

I want people who don’t have my mindset to understand where I’m coming from on a variety of topics. So, here’s to a lovely future! 😀