Why I Don’t Pick Sides

Hi everybody! Today, I wanted to discuss a topic that I haven’t really addressed in full. In passing, I might have mentioned that I do not like involving myself in others’ drama or that I prefer to stay neutral. However, I have never outright given reasons explaining why I do this.

What does it mean to choose a side?
So, when somebody confronts me with a problem with another individual, I am often prone to wanting to involve myself- especially if I have already formed an opinion on the other person. As I tend to be a rather soft-hearted being, I struggle at times with stepping back with a neutral mind.

However, I currently serve as an administrator on a central hub for a particular website- and I recently attained the position. In the process, I’ve definitely learned that neutrality is a must in order to keep the peace. Bias leads only to further conflict that can easily be avoided.

Why do I refuse to fight other battles?
I never used to avoid others’ arguments; in fact, I always involved myself in debates that were never mine to begin with. As I’ve mellowed gradually through the years, I’ve discovered that other people will not grow up if they have their battles fought for them all the time.

One example I refer to is back when I was a new sophomore in JROTC- in that class, you’re expected to know how to put on your rank and military uniform a specific way. I always relied on my then-boyfriend to put on my rank- then, when we broke up (thus, avoiding each other), I had a hard time setting my rank.

The thing is, I eventually learned. In the process of my struggle, I gained practice in just doing the task. If I deny others the ability to fight their own wars, they are never going to be able to grow as human beings. In time, they’ll learn to appreciate the journey.

[R] How I Found My Special Place

Hi everybody! So, today’s blog post will be a bit personal, because not necessarily everybody knows the beliefs I follow and the practices I attend to. For those of who you are unaware, I am an eclectic person- I take beliefs from different religions and apply them to my own, but I mainly follow a Pagan-related system. With that in mind, I realize not everybody feels as connected to nature as I do- but there is one place more than anywhere else that I have bonded with.

I have always been an indoors person, truth be told. I don’t like venturing outdoors very much, mostly because of my irrational fear of bees, but also because I don’t take enjoyment in sitting in sunlight and whatnot. That being said, I go on a walk almost daily primarily to get some exercise, but also to meditate.

My special sanctuary, where I feel closest to nature, is actually the playground of an elementary school. Some might view this as odd, but considering I am from Alaska and nearly every place is surrounded by some form of forest, I suppose that makes up for it.

I attended the elementary school as a little girl, but I have always found myself drawn back to the swing-set overlooking the nearby field. I noticed this summer that whenever I meditate at the given place- usually on the swing itself- I feel safe and I also sense an inner tranquil. Some people have to venture more to discover their special place. After all, it took me years to really confirm that the particular playground was mine.

Is there a particular area you feel drawn to outside of your home? That might be your place, and you’ll never know for sure unless you try to discover it. 🙂

Courage

Hi guys! Today’s post will be focused on a story I wish to share with all of you. As many of my readers know, I deal with multiple disabilities, as well as general social anxiety.

So, every other day at least, I go on a walk for about half a mile to visit a playground of the elementary school I attended. Not only does walking with my music clear my mind, but I find swinging on playground swings extremely relaxing. Considering how stressed I discover I can be at times, taking time out of my day to give myself fresh air is actually quite helpful.

When I swing for a bit, I catch a view of two teenage boys playing basketball, and immediately, I knew I wanted to participate. They had clearly just arrived as well, probably a few minutes before I did. So, while swinging, I tried to figure out the best way to approach them. Granted, I have huge social anxiety, and so even talking to strangers leaves me extremely nervous- regardless of age or anything.

After about twenty to thirty minutes, I finally gathered up the courage to speak to them. I asked them if I could play- after all, worst case scenario, they’d say no, right? In a surprising turn, the boys eagerly accepted my request, and I spent the next half hour in an intense game of basketball.

The thing is, social anxiety can control you, yes. However, if you summon enough strength in yourself to push past it, there’s no doubt you’ll regret it. Consider the worst possible thing that can happen: maybe you get told off or something. However, I would rather regret the things I do than the things I don’t do.

And that is how I found courage despite my anxiety.

Growing Up

It gets better. I’m not lying: it really does. Truth be told, life is super hard. I know that. Depending on your beliefs, it’s one of the truest journeys you’ll ever have, but also among the toughest. The thing is, though, if it was honestly easy? Everybody would be more than eager to grow up and go through the motions. Everybody would do it, which is why life is the way it is. These struggles are not going to define nor kill you. If you are given a challenge, all I ask of you is to embrace it head-on. Yes, it is going to tear and sting and you will fall a couple of times, but it never changes. As children, we learn how to ride a bicycle. Obviously, all of us learn at our own pace; some with more injuries than others. However, it is well worth it when you can look back with satisfaction and say you survived.